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[18 Mar 2010|06:59pm] |
this morning i wieghed 113 exactly. now i'm 111.4! im so happy 2b passed 113.
all i did 2day was walk tho. it was fun cuz i was wit my bf but now he's teasing me with french fries. he's the only 1 that knos tho. i tell him everything. he's sweet but idk it kinda makes me a little happeir that i can like stuff his face and i guess it keeps all the food i really want away from me. im learning 2 hate french fries tho :)
i told my parents im eating at my freinds again so i dont have 2 eat. yay
well i have 2 go stuff my bfs face with vanilla ice cream. i hope ur doin good.
Bye bye <3
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| Friends are not friends. |
[18 Mar 2010|10:54am] |
Some friends I hadn't seen in a while stopped by today. They were surprised by the weight I had gained.
One of them made a comment that irked me.
I ended up gaining so much weight in recovery because I had shot my metabolism. I didn't choose to gain weight. Me going in to recovery wasn't an option either. My boyfriend was about to leave me and I had already been hospitalized 5 times for fainting and concussions. It was either my weight or my life. So it wasn't like I woke up and said "Oh, I want to get fat."
Whenever friends make comments to me like "Wow, I could never let myself get like you!" or "Oh...do you feel confident in yourself" or "Don't worry, you'll be rail thin again some day," It just makes me mad. Sure, I'm not a 0 anymore, but I'm happier now and I want my friends to be happy too.
Things like this make me want to relapse. Damn.
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| 2 questions |
[18 Mar 2010|11:20am] |
okay so i'm curious about two things.
1) Who has been on the Sacred Heart Diet? What were your results?
&
2) How in the world do I lose the fat on my inner thighs?????! They have gotten HUGE it's a disgusting sight :/ I don't even feel comfortable wearing skirts or shorts & i USED to absolutely love my legs!
Help please!!
thanks girls xoox
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[18 Mar 2010|06:37pm] |
hey people,
I'm new here. kinda been lurking for a while and reading other peoples' post without saying anything.
I have a problem though. :(
after some months of recovery, I realized it wasn't right for me and stopped.
but. now, whenever I start throwing up I get a REALLY BAD pain in the right side of my jaw. it hurts so bad that I can't open my mouth for several minutes.this makes things really hard, obviously.
I don't know what to do. it's so scary. but I can't just stay like this with my belly full of junk all day..
I feel so fat :( and my stupid body won't cooperate.
just ranting I guess. but I wish someone had some advice for me. I'm really frustrated.
hope you're all doing better than I am.
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| day 6 cabbage soup :) |
[18 Mar 2010|05:48pm] |
hi lovelies :)
thank you so much for everyone who commented on my last post i love you <3
today was okay. salad and a piece of meat. and A LOT of ketchup (i eat absolutely EVERYTHING with ketchup)! oh and the soup of course! i think i might have some more soup for dinner...
i had another class presentation today and 3 people today told me that i had lost weight so am happy about that. but whenever they tell me i lost weight they say i look nice but i should stop or it will start becoming ugly. i lose some more, and they all say how nice i look! wtf? lol anywayyy...
i found out that my friend is bulimic :( am so sad now and concerned! so many people in this world have EDs seriously!! she used to be anorexic when she was VERY underweight but now she b\ps soooo many times a day. i never suspected she could have an ED because she is overweight now but yeah =\
mother's day is on sunday and so is my dad's birthday. am not sure what to get them. am thinking of getting my mum a diamond necklace but i don't really have money so i will share it with my sister and bro each one of us will pay a little. as for my dad i will get him the same as last time lol clothes =]
how is everyone doing?
<3
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| hectic |
[18 Mar 2010|10:00pm] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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so work again today (sigh). more shit went down some of which my fault. got my own keys and alarm code today so maybe they dont think im a 'complete' idiot. God i dont see whats so effing hard about making sandwiches???
anyway my own open is saturday im actually really stressing about it but using it as appetite suppressant. so i just had some berries in the morning then a chicken sub at about 5. happy about that ive been eating less and less due to work YAY and this morning highlight of my week ive already lost a kilo so down to 51 now. hoora.
wish my energy levels werent so low i just continuously sip on diet coke at work all day.
good luck ladies
x
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| FP update |
[18 Mar 2010|01:56am] |
took my second pill today.
Felt jittery again, and headachey. I'm hoping that tomorrow will be better. I am taking one tomorrow too - I just need to get over this acclimatization period (I hope).
Start weight = 128 (BMI: 22.7)
current weight = 123.6 (BMI: 21.9)
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| ........ |
[18 Mar 2010|12:12am] |
wow that walk was a little longer than i expected. i walked from 8 45 till 11 30 and since walking for 15 mins= 100 calories, i burned 1100 calories. :)
idk what it is about posting my stats everyday but it helps so much. i mean i thought i couldnt do it till i came here. thx so much evrybody. i read like all your posts and it just helps and makes me want to do more to loose all this nasty fat hanging on 2 me.
i go back 2 school next week so aslong as i can keep avoiding lunch, i can do it bc i dont have time in the morning and around dinner time i've been telling my parents im at my friend sarahs and i always make up something we had 4 dinner that was just soo good lol. she lives kinda close. thats how i was out so late.
but ne way lunch will be very very very hard. any tips? PLEASE??
<3:)<3
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| Therapy, psychiatrist, outpatient =/ advice |
[18 Mar 2010|01:04am] |
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mood |
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 guilty |
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So i need advice.
My therapist told my psychiatrist i lost 25 pounds in almost two months. Now my psychiatrist told me if in the next three weeks i lose more than three pounds im going to be sent to outpatient. Since im 19 can i go against that? She also told me if the bloodwork came back bad i would have to go. Im 110 pounds and 5'1 that is not good enough =/
Today i ate 1,000 calories to try and follow orders and i cant do this i cant. ill eat 400 but thats it and i need to walk or jog and stuff like i cant not drop to 100 i want to be 100.
So what do i do?
What is outpatient exactly i had to do it once before but i was younger.
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[17 Mar 2010|08:03pm] |
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I'm planning on taking Adderall for a period of time so I can lose weight because I've gotten HUGE! How many do people usually take a day?
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| ahh 2day.... |
[17 Mar 2010|08:07pm] |
omg. i got so sick last night. my body wouldnt even take liquids for more than 2 minutes. it didnt really bother me that i was throwing up i mean come on less work for me. what bothered me is that i was up at 3 o clock screaming cuz my head hurt like a b*tch.
then i took night quil. it knocks me out.
(i normally take it when my stomach hurts 2 much 2 sleep)
wen i woke up i was starving so i had cereal and i kept craving something but idk what so i had some progresso, 180 cals, then the evil icecream my parents bought 4 my sis, but then i barfed up all of the icecream so :).then my parents made me have dinner with them so i threw out 2 peices of meet and ate a carrot, 1/4 th of a potato and a slice of meat.
after that i went upstairs 2 the bathroom and barfed up the meat.
well im gonna go take a well needed 2 hour walk. bye :)
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[17 Mar 2010|11:39pm] |
Hi guys,
just wondering is anyone else here from the UK and found somewhere that ships FP and SSP? cos i can find one seller on amazon.co.uk for FP but nothing for SSP...and i dont know whether that amazon seller is selling fake stuff xxx
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| need to fast |
[17 Mar 2010|03:27pm] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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I used to post here daily but in the last year I have sort of switched from being mostly ana to being almost completely mia. I need to start fasting. Anyone else starting a fast soon?
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| What's the BEST? |
[17 Mar 2010|04:19pm] |
Hey girls & guys! I just wanted to know if you guys would share which pills you guys like and worked the best for you!!??
Ive been taking FP & SSP for about half a month and realized i lost around 10lbs. im getting there! i needs to lose about 50lbs more!! ahhh..
Hope to hear from you!!
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| So close |
[17 Mar 2010|01:32pm] |
I can see it start taking shape now- the sharpened cheek bones, the baggy jeans and the way my shoulder blades stick out-
But it's not enough. I need ribs without sucking in, ribs through the back, the back of my hip bones, the full range of my spine.
I just want to be how I used to be and I don't want to have to forfeit love to be that way.
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[17 Mar 2010|05:08pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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so i was doing amazing remember?
now i failed... im sooooooooooo stressed out...
and ate A LOT
for sure gained... probably a lot....
so i messed up... will not be 52kg tomorrow and don't know what to expect..
*sigh* i hate myself for doeing this...
stay strong everyone
*hug*
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| I HATE MYSELF |
[17 Mar 2010|03:11pm] |
i am so fucking weak :(
am on the cabbage soup diet day 5 and am supposed to only have a piece of fish and some tomatoes. i had the piece of fish but i also had a handful of peanuts! FUCK! i know i didnt binge (believe me i know what a binge is!!) but i just feel so weak! i didn't need to eat them! i just couldnt stop and i kept eating and i fucked the diet. am not giving up though and i will continue =\
sorry i can't comment on anyone's post am just so tired =(
x
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[17 Mar 2010|06:27am] |
Good morning :D
Oddly enough, I woke up in an instant when it usually takes me an hour to do. I enjoyed taking the time to simmer down and transition to a new day full of exuberant tests and ever so grand projects -_- hahha. :) I hate procrastination, I have two projects due tomorrow. xD One on One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest(ILOVETHISBOOOK!) and a health current issue.
I am REAALLLYY trying not to weight myself today because I went out with my friend yesterday to tuttifrutti(froyo) AND burgerking. She wanted a medium fry, and got full after like five fries...Guess who pretty much nibbled on the rest. I promised to only have the diet coke, but that didn't exactly happen. I need determination, I know. Well, atleast the week is halfway over! :D
Have a nice day :)
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